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I am father of prospective bride and find the situation exactly opposite. As such I join Mr Mani in appealing to all whether belonging to bride or bridegroom's side to please give some reply for any proposal received.
With Regards. to all
M.G.Sarma
I agree with u in toto. The problem today (apart from sghortage of girls) is that today's girls are by large highly qualified and gainfully enmployed. Thus they are economically independent. A married llife family is secondary to them and they are "career oriented". Their parents have little say in choosing their partners in life. They have their own whims and fancies while selecting their would be partner. Even if a boy is highly educated (more than the girl)and highly placed in jobs, they tend to reject him on flimsy grounds such as
he is not "social" (meaning mixing with other girls, drinking, late-night partying and other forms of activities - which we consider as bad habits or vices) or that he is conservative of old traditional values visiting temples.
I know of a case where the girl rejected the boy for the simple reason that he applies the holy "vibhuti" on his forehead and visits temples. Even everything comes through and the boy the girl seeing each other agree, the girl's mother is there to prevent the alliance under some excuses or other (probably because after the daughter's marriage, their milking cow will disappear and their income with dwindle.) In most of the cases, the girl's father is a dummy and has no veto power at home. The girls also put such conditions that after marriage the "luggage or garbage" (meaning the boy's parents or grand-parents) should not stay with them. Which self-respecting boy can agree to this atrocious and mean-minded demand? I also know of at least half-a dozen cases where after having rejected good proposals from boys of our own community, the girls have chosen a sardarji, a pillai or even from other religions.
God save our community.
I fully agree with the message posted by Mr.rhs_mani on 21st Sep 2011 to the members of " Kalyanm " ( email id:
rhs.mani@yahoo.co.in ) with a open heart and without any bias or ambiguity.
Now a days it is highly pathetic to note that brides side has an undue upper hand. Even for live events conducted by some matrimonial organizations the response from brides' side is very poor...it is not even 10% from girls side...and presence of girls is not even 1% . I wonder if male female sex ratio would have fallen to that bottom level to have 10% of representatives from girls' side...
Bridegrooms could not evoke a courtesy message even from non professional or non graduate girls...then you imagine how it could be possible to negotiate with professional graduates ? when such is the case we need not to mention about IT professional brides who would either prefer bridegroom with a minimum salary of Rs.1.5 to 2 million rupees pa with a rider that they should work in US..UK...or at least in Singapore. We are pretty aware of what happened to those employed in abroad during US crisis in 2001-2002. Many of them were unable to bear the brunt of rental cost and vacated their houses in the prime localities like T.Nagar, Anna Nagar , Adyar etc., and were driven out to out skirts of Chennai .Same situation may arise at any time. The recession has already surfaced in many of the European countries and likely to extend to US once again.
It is quite appropriate to remember how our own relatives and friends were driven pillar to post when they were seeking marriage alliance for their daughters/ girls before 7 years.
I conclude with a request to brides side that please do not try to exploit the current pathetic situation that raised because of a sudden fall in the sex ratio...Be realistic and be courteous to respond at least
whether you accept or reject the proposal.
I express my view for the sake of millions of parents of bridegrooms who curse themselves for having blessed with boys ( they thought like this at the time of birth of their wards)
With regards and divine blessings ,
Nowadays parents of the brides are placing lots of conditions to the groom side.
They seek the groom as though selecting to fill a position of a groom. According
to them, Husband is a vacant post that needs to be fulfilled. They need the
position to be filled by a brahmin, and he should be educated with IT. Not all
the B.Techs and B.E.s are holding jobs that earns Rs60,000 at the age of
25/28/30. Nowadays not much of Brahmin boys go for MBBS.
I wonder if all the brides who quotes that they need wealthy, highly educated
who earns millions got their spouses as they quoted.
Can any one take a survey how many brahmins earns Rs100,000 per Month, Rs75,000
and so on.
I am also seeing good number of profiles that carries the word, INNOCENT
DIVORCE.
One of my lawyer friend who appears in family court says "There are at least 200
cases pending in the family court for divorce, most of them are forward castes.
They say the groom lied that he earns Rs 100000 per month, but actually he earns
Rs25,000 and I can not manage a family with Rs25,000. A woman lawyer who
appeared for the husband aged 28, said unless a wife control/ manage a family
within that money, she is unfit to the family life."
One such instance the senior counsel showed a brahmin lady with torn cloths who
said her husband often beat her after consuming liquor and unable to pay the
school fees to the children and since she belongs to forward community no
scholarship is given to them.
The life has two sides.
One group longing for a meal for a day and other group wish to go to Seven star
hotels and on tour and to spend Rs100,000 per month, and other side wish their
husband to look after her and her children.
Only time will tell the fate, but it will be too late to realize.
