Dear Sirs,
One of my very intelligent and capable friends wrote:-
I have a slightly different take...
Grooms who are not graduates - this is a tribe that better stay
single and first sustain themselves rather than mess up another
girl's life. In these times of dial-a-M.S and Ph.D, if someone can't
academically raise themselves to the primal level of even a
graduation, he cannot sustain himself until he gets self-built or
distinguishes himself in an enterprise of his choice like that of a
priest, caterer or even a small time vendor. This is not to say
under-graduates can't make it big in life, but they are clearly at
the bottom of the league and should focus more on their own
sustenance than hurrying to procreate.
Priests, cooks and hoteliers - These are off-bounds in case if they
remain naive and don't work on their external appeal. Which girl can
tolerate a smelly guy (the cook and hotelier) coming home every night
only to sleep and wake up? Over time, they should lay down processes
and learn to delegate the grimey stuff. That's smart. Now don't
tell me Ratan Tata (who owns Taj group of Hotels) didn't get a girl
despite being always smart and well turned out
Priests can get girls certainly if they change their conduct
(avoiding tasteless banter with yajaman / his relatives, asking for
`vandi kooly' over and above Dakshina a la like a chennai
rickshawalla who asks `saar, meterukku mele ethavathu kuduthuttu po'
while offering their services.) I know quite a few smart young good
looking priests that mind their own business that girls drool over.
So they clearly need to work on their external appeal. Because
perception is reality.
Business people : There are different categories. Even an LIC agent
calls himself a business man as does the owner of a billion $
software major. The question is one of credentials. Normally the
those who adorn the top of the league tables don't bother circulating
horoscopes amongst seedy brokers /astrologers - they find their match
from amongst the scions of other wealthy industrialists while
schmoozing at a CII / Chambers of Commerce cocktail do. To my
knowledge, there is no unmarried kin in TVS family despite all of
them being in business. It's a myth that Brahmins give preference to
employed grooms - entrepreneurs have their place too except that it's
slightly above the eye-level of the ordinary.
Handicapped - This depends on the categoy of challenge. If someone is
short by a limb or an eye or an ear and still copes well with life
and is capable of conjugal bliss, I am sure there are other similarly
challenged (if not those that are healthy) that are available,
provided the net is cast wide enough. Now that there are matrimonial
websites that have separate categories for physically challenged,
social networks, email groups and other social media like blogs, it's
easier to network and connect. (S)he just needs to be smart enough to
track them down than just doing 1001 pradakshinams around banyan
trees or doing rounds of astrologers.
Only son of parents - I think you're generalizing here. Recognize
that people are of different makes. If you don't want a girl if she
feels it's a little too much to ask her to be a home nurse besides
being a wife, go find another one that clearly doesn't mind. All of
us have a right to be different, aren't we? Times are changin'
Boys who are 35 plus - Well, this is clearly one of preference. If
girls desire young boys, you just can't blame the girls. I am sure
there are quite a few unmarried girls around the same age except if
the boy is still insistent on a younger bride. There certainly could
be a fair share of widows, divorcees or even intellectuals or just
plain `never-felt-
smarts among the lot will hunt them down.
NRI grooms - It's again a matter of choice. If the girl chooses to
live among her folks back home and dislikes to live amidst a majority
that looks down upon her because of her ethnicity, color of skin or
eyes or just loves to be a first grade citizen in the country of her
birth, well - give it to her. And then the history of ill-treatment,
domestic violence and culture gap also tells. But then there are so
many that dream of making it big as an NRI consort. Cast the net wide.
Astrological reasons - They need to choose. Whether they want a girl
as a consort or wait like a wimp - for `the right one' that brings
with her the mythical security and good fortune promised by
horoscopes. Girls are better off with boys that like to dare and
face life as it comes, especially in these turbulent times when even
the big wall street banks (and some Hyderabad companies too) fail
over the weekend.
And Finally to that sulking boy that asked his old man `father, can't
you find a girl for me' - this guy is a clear loser. He is on a self-
pity if not guilt trip. He has higher propensity to mess up post-
marital life. Girls must be right in blacking him out. Don't even
touch this guy with a barge pole unless he redeems himself, searches
his soul and recognizes the needs to fix life on his own rather than
leaning on his old man.
Regards,
The person who has written this modern girl's frank reaction is
a male, With best wishes, Ramachander
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